Evidence Deck

Islam's Problems

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1. Math Error

Infographic with Quran Verses
Inheritance math error source verses, Quran 4:11-12Inheritance math error calculation cases and conclusion

Quran gives rules for inheritance with specific mathematical fractions "of the estate" for specific heirs Quran 4:11-12, Quran 4:176.

Case 127/24 (112.5%)
  • Two Daughters: "But if there are daughters, two or more, for them is two-thirds (2/3 = 16/24) of one's estate." Quran 4:11
  • Two Parents: "And for one's parents, to each one of them is a sixth (2/6 = 8/24) of his estate if he left children." Quran 4:11
  • Wife: "And for the wives is one fourth if you leave no child. But if you leave a child, then for them is an eighth (1/8 = 3/24) of what you leave." Quran 4:12
Total: 16/24 + 8/24 + 3/24 = 27/24 (112.5%) of the estate

Case 2

Woman dies leaving husband and two sisters.

  • Husband: "You will inherit half (1/2 = 3/6) of what your wives leave if they are childless." Quran 4:12
  • Two Sisters: "If this person leaves behind two sisters, they together will inherit two-thirds (2/3 = 4/6) of the estate." Quran 4:176
Total: 3/6 + 4/6 = 7/6 (116.7%) of the estate

You can't give away more than 100% of your estate. The Quran provides no resolution for this.

Cake Analogy

If I tell you to give 2/3 of your cake to your sister and give 1/2 your cake to your brother without telling you how to do this,

  • would you think there is a flaw in my instructions?
  • would you think I am an omnipotent all-knowing being?

Quran: give 2/3 of estate to two sisters and 1/2 of estate to husband without telling you how.
Analogy: give 2/3 of cake to sister and 1/2 of cake to brother without telling you how.

Fixing Allah’s Fractions: Sunni vs Shia vs Ibn Abbas
One-Liners
  • The Fixed Fraction: When Allah means a ratio between relatives, he says so: "the share of the male will be twice that of the female" Quran 4:11. But in Case 1 and Case 2, Allah assigns each relative a fixed fraction "of the estate."
  • The Semantic Trap: You don't need a hidden premise to read 2/3 of the estate as 2/3 of the estate. You need a hidden premise to read 2/3 of the estate as 4/7 of the estate.
  • The Useless Fraction: If 2/3 of the estate can silently become 4/7 of the estate, the fraction communicates nothing.
  • The Internal Condition: The Quran internally states the conditions (heirs) and assigns them mathematically impossible fractions.
  • The Impossible Command: When the command assigns 7/6 of the estate, reducing it to 6/6 doesn't solve the instruction. It corrects it.
  • The Missing Rule: One verse would have solved it: "if it overflows, reduce proportionally." But there is no solution in the Quran for this.
  • The Caliph's Dilemma: If the Quran already allowed adjustment, the prophet's companion and second caliph Umar wouldn't be stumped and have to fix it by changing the fractions. Why did humans have to come up with a rule that changes Allah's fractions to make them work?
  • The Omniscience Check: Why would an omniscient being give a mathematically impossible inheritance law and wait for Umar to fix it when He could have put the principle of awl in the text?

2. The Allah Who Cried Wolf

Core pressure point
Quranic premise

Allah made Jesus' crucifixion "appear so" Quran 4:157

Historical result

That appearance produced Christianity: a global religion Islam says sends sincere believers to hell.

Trust problem

So how can Muslims trust that Jibreel's revelation of the Quran to Muhammad (another supernatural appearance) wasn't another deception from Allah that produced another damnable religion: Islam?

Understand the problem
Because the appearance said so?

Sincere Trinitarian Christians are going to die thinking they will go to heaven because Jesus paid for their sins through the crucifixion and Allah is gonna be like "it was made to appear so" and send them to hell.

And this won't happen to Muslims, why?

Because the appearance said so?

You can't use the appearance to verify the appearance.

Quran is the appearance in question.
Deception resulting in hell burns down the reliability of the channel.
So, "The appearance is true because the appearance said so" doesn't work.

Entailment?

people formed is underlined for both religions to clear up any confusion about necessity/entailment. Rather, it's an issue about trust in religions people form from supernatural appearances:

If people already formed a religion (Christianity) that sends u to hell based on one deceptive supernatural appearance (Jesus' crucifixion), why would u trust another religion (Islam) that people formed based on a new supernatural appearance (Jibreel appearance to Muhammad revealing Quran)?

Symmetry

Supernatural appearance: Jesus' crucifixion ("made to appear so" Quran 4:157)
Religion 1: Christianity
Result: hell

Supernatural appearance 2: Jibreel revealing Quran to Muhammad
Religion 2: Islam
Result: ?

If one supernatural appearance misled the world, why is the next one safe?

And why should we trust and believe religion #2 after what happened last time?

The Parable of the Magician

A magician performs a miracle where a man seemingly dies, but takes the man up to him instead.

People form a religion saying the magician, speaking as the man, founded that religion.

Later, the magician performs a miracle where he sends a genie to a man meditating in a cave.

The genie tells him that the previous miracle was faked by the magician and that the magician will torture anyone who still believes in the first religion.

This man and other people form a religion saying the magician, speaking through the genie, founded this religion.

Would you believe this second religion?

Rug-Pull Analogy
"John did a crypto rug pull where people lost all their money. John made the investment look like a winning trade. But John never said that they wouldn't lose their money. And John had good reasons to rug pull - he gave it all to charity.

But give John all ur money and he will double it for you. This message is telling the truth to you it never lies and has no contradictions. In fact, John literally cannot lie."

Why should you trust this message and give John ur money despite what happened last time?

  • the message says the message is true and that John can't lie
  • there was no necessity/entailment - no one was forced to invest
  • John never literally said that they wouldn't lose their money
  • the message literally says John was trying to help everyone make lots of money

The problem is the delivery method. It's corrupted/broken/untrustworthy/unreliable. You can't say something u got from a sus delivery method is reliable because it says it is.

Full: Islam’s Crucifixion Problems (Historical, Theological, and Epistemological)

Denying the crucifixion creates three separate problems for Islam.

Historical

Crucifixion was humiliating in the Roman Empire and a curse under Jewish Law Deuteronomy 21:23 Galatians 3:13. All earliest recoverable evidence, including Paul who met Jesus' brother James and disciple Peter Galatians 1:18-19, points to Jesus' followers preaching his crucifixion even while admitting it's a stumbling block for conversion 1 Corinthians 1:23.

Why invent a shameful and cursed death for their messiah? If they wanted to lie, denial would make more sense.

Exactly what the Quran does 600 years later, saying the crucifixion "was made to appear so" Quran 4:157.

Theological

Yet the same Quran praises Jesus' disciples as sincere helpers of Allah Quran 3:52, says Allah made them uppermost Quran 61:14, and promises to elevate them above disbelievers until the Day of Judgement Quran 3:55.

Trilemma:

  1. If Jesus' disciples believed the crucifixion occurred, even Allah's sincere followers are misled by His deception.
  2. If their testimony was immediately lost or corrupted, Allah's promises of dominance and elevation are impotent.
  3. If they lied, the Quran falsely praises deceivers as sincere helpers of Allah.
Epistemological (Trust)

Islamic theology affirms Allah uses makr (strategic deception) and istidraj (entrapment through false impressions).

One of Allah's deceptions (making the crucifixion "appear so") already produced a global damnable shirk religion (Christianity). How can we trust the revelation of the Quran isn't another deception that produced another damnable religion (Islam)?

Responses to "Allah Who Cried Wolf" (why they don't work)
Circular

Aligns with prophets, fitra (Judaism + Deism), Allah says X, last prophet, X is in Quran = "Because the appearance said so"An appearance (Quran) can't verify itself as non deceptive.

No Necessity/Entailment

But if people already formed a religion (Christianity) that sends u to hell based on one deceptive supernatural appearance (Jesus' crucifixion), why would u trust another religion (Islam) that people formed based on a new supernatural appearance (Jibreel appearance to Muhammad revealing Quran)?

Content

Beautiful, 23 years, inimitable, scientific facts, predictions → even if granted, why can't Allah do this in a deception?

Downstream

preserved, hadith, trustworthy Prophet, companions witnessed → even if granted, none of this matters if it was made to appear so.

No deception

Next verse after "made to appear so" is "rather Allah raised him up to himself" Quran 4:158. All classical tafsirs agree Allah did it. But even if granted, there is something or someone that is powerful enough to create mass supernatural deceptions resulting in damned religions. Same Problem.

Good Reason/For Enemies

Billions of sincere Christians ended up believing in the deception. Even if it was good deception, many sincere Christians don't know this and are going to hell. So there could be a good reason you are deceived too that you don't know. Also, circular.

"Radical skepticism"

I don't believe in a devil that mass deceives people. You believe in a God that does.

Why Nothing Works
  • None of this matters if it was made to appear so.
  • Quran can't verify its own reliability when it is the appearance under question.
  • Once you establish large scale deception resulting in hell like that, it corrupts the channel.
  • If sincerity to an appearance did not save Christians from your God, then your own sincerity to this appearance cannot save you.
  • You can't use the appearance to verify the appearance.
One-Liners
  • The Killshot: Once you establish large scale deception resulting in hell like that, it corrupts the channel.
  • The Verification Trap: You can't use the appearance to verify the appearance.
  • The Double Standard: So Christians are going to die thinking they will go to heaven and Allah is gonna be like "it was made to appear so" and send them to hell. And this won't happen to Muslims, why? Because the appearance said so?
  • The Rug Pull: You can't trust any promise of safety from a God who rug-pulls sincere believers.
  • The Sincere Believer Problem: If Jesus' disciples believed the crucifixion occurred, even Allah's sincere followers are misled by His deception.

3. Quran Says the Sun Sets in a Muddy Spring

1. Quran

Quran 18:86 Word for Word Arabic
Quran 18:86 word-for-word Arabic showing balagha, maghriba l-shamsi, wajadaha, taghrubu, fi aynin hami-atin
Quran Corpus word-for-word breakdown of Quran 18:86: reached, setting place of the sun, found it, setting in a spring of dark mud. Quran Corpus 18:86

In Quran 18:90, Dhul Qarnayn travels to a different place and reaches (balagha) "the rising place of the sun" (maṭliʿa l-shamsi).

2. Hadith

Muhammad directly says in a hadith, considered authentic in chain, that the sun sets in a spring:

"I was sitting behind the Messenger of Allah who was riding a donkey while the sun was setting. He asked: Do you know where this sets? I replied: Allah and his Apostle know best. He said: It sets in a spring of warm water (Hamiyah)." Sunan Abu Dawud 4002

3. Pre-Islamic Poem

A poem in Ibn Ishaq's biography of Muhammad, attributed to the pre-Islamic king Tubba, describes this as well:

"He saw where the sun sinks from view"
"In a pool of mud and fetid slime" Ibn Ishaq, Sirat Rasul Allah, p. 12

4. Syriac Alexander Legend

Historians trace the Quranic character Dhul Qarnayn to a legend about Alexander the Great circulating around Muhammad's time, the Syriac Alexander Legend, which also says this:

"So the whole camp mounted, and Alexander and his troops went up between the fetid sea and the bright sea to the place where the sun enters the window of heaven; for the sun is the servant of the Lord, and neither by night nor by day does he cease from his travelling. The place of his rising is over the sea, and the people who dwell there, when he is about to rise, flee away and hide themselves in the sea, that they be not burnt by his rays; and he passes through the midst of the heavens to the place where he enters the window of heaven... And when the sun enters the window of heaven, he straightway bows down and makes obeisance before God his Creator; and he travels and descends the whole night through the heavens, until at length he finds himself where he rises." Budge, Syriac Alexander Legend, p. 148
Tafsir al-Tabari: Companion Ibn Abbas and the Salaf Debate on Whether the Spring in Which the Sun Sets Is Muddy or Hot

Tafsir al-Tabari preserves the debate between the salaf over whether the spring where the sun sets is muddy or warm. Tabari says both readings are correct because the sun could set in a spring that is both hot and muddy.

Tafsir al-Tabari — Quran 18:86 (10/374-378)

(the setting-place of the sun, he found it setting in a muddy spring). The readers differed on how to read this. Some of the readers of Madina and Basra read it as (in a muddy spring), meaning that the sun sets in a spring that contains mud. While a group of the readers of Medina and the majority of the people of Kufa read it as, (in a warm spring) meaning that the sun sets in a spring of warm water. The people of commentary have differed on the meaning of this depending on the way they read the verse.

Mention of those who said: (setting in a muddy spring)

Muhammad b. Al-Muthanna ← Ibn Abi Uday ← Dawud ← Ikrimah ← Ibn Abbas: (and he found it setting in a muddy spring) he said: In black mud.

Ibn al-Muthanna ← Abd al-Ala ← Dawud ← Ikrimah on the authority of Ibn Abbas, that he recited: (in a muddy spring) he said: it is black mud.

Al-Husayn b. Al-Junayd ← Sayd b. Salamah ← Ismail b. Aliyah ← Uthman b. Hadir: I heard Abdullah b. Abbas said: Muawiyah recited this verse, and he said (warm spring) and Ibn Abbas said: it is (muddy spring). He said: So they sent to Ka'b Al-Ahbar and asked him. Ka'b said: As for the sun, it disappears in 'Thatin', which matched what Ibn Abbas said, and the word tha'at means "mud".

Yunus ← Ibn Wahb ← Nafi' b. Abu Na'im ← Abd Al-Rahim Al'Araj: Ibn Abbas used to speak about the muddy spring and would pronounce the word as (in a muddy spring) then he explained it as black mud. Nafi' said that Ka'b was asked about it and he said: "You are more knowledgeable in the Quran than I am, but I find it in the Book disappearing in black mud."

Muhammad b. Saad ← his father ← His uncle ← his father ← his father ← Ibn Abbas: (and he found it setting in a muddy spring) he said: it is black mud.

Muhammad b. Amr ← Abu Asim ← Issa ← Ibn Abi Najih ← Mujahid: (in a muddy spring). He said: black mud.

Al-Qasim ← Al-Husayn ← Hajjaj ← Ibn Jurayj ← Mujahid: (it setting in a muddy spring). he said: mud.

He said: And Amr b. Dinar ← Ata b. Abi Rabah ← Ibn Abbas: I read (in a muddy spring) And Amr bin Al-Aas recited (in a warm spring), so we were sent to Ka'b. He said: It sets into black mud.

Bishr ← Yazid ← Sayd ← Qatadah: (setting in a muddy spring) and the mud: the black mud.

Muhammad b. 'Abd al-A'laa ← Marwan b. Mu'awiya ← Warqa ← Sayd b. Jubayr: Ibn 'Abbas used to read this letter (In a muddy spring) and he said: Black mud that the sun sets in.

Others said: Rather, it disappears in a hot spring. Mention of those who said that:

Ali ← Abdullah ← Muawiyah ← Ali ← Ibn Abbas (he found it setting in a warm spring) and he said: In a hot spring.

Yaqub ← Ibn Aliyah ← Abu Raja ← al-Hasan: (In a warm spring) he said: it is hot.

Al-Hasan ← Abd al-Razzaq ← Mamar: al-Hasan regarding (In a hot spring) he said: It is hot. al-Hasan also read it this way.

And in my (Tabari's) mind the correct opinion is to say that they are both popular readings in the land, and each one has a correctness about it and an understandable meaning, and neither contradicts the other, for it is possible that the sun sets in a hot spring that has mud and sludge, so a reader who uses "hot spring" is describing its temperature, and the reader who uses "muddy spring" is describing that it has mud and sludge. Both versions have been narrated to us.

Tafsir al-Tabari 18:86, 10/374-378

Sunan Ibn Majah 166 screenshot: Ibn Abbas narration where Muhammad prays that Allah teach him wisdom and interpretation of the Book.
Sunan Ibn Majah 166
Details in Quran 18:83-98 That Only the Syriac Alexander Legend Explains
1. Why is Dhul Qarnayn called "The Two-Horned One"?

Question: Why is "Dhul Qarnayn" Quran 18:83, meaning "The Two-Horned One", called by that name?

"thou hast made me horns upon my head, wherewith I might thrust down the kingdoms of the world"Budge, Syriac Alexander Legend, p. 146

Because God gave Alexander horns on his head as weapons to destroy kingdoms.

2. Why do the people at the sun's rising place have no shelter?

Question: What is the significance of Dhul Qarnayn "finding [the sun] rising over a people for whom We had made no shelter from it" Quran 18:90?

"the people who dwell there, when he is about to rise, flee away and hide themselves in the sea, that they be not burnt by his rays ... as soon as they see the sun passing [over them], men and birds flee away from before him and hide in the caves, for rocks are rent (split) by his blazing heat and fall down"Budge, Syriac Alexander Legend, p. 148

The sun's heat at its rising place is so intense it splits rocks. The people living there have no shelter and must hide in caves.

3. Why does Dhul Qarnayn punish wrongdoers at the setting place?

Question: Why does Dhul Qarnayn punish wrongdoers living at the setting place of the sun: "Whoever does wrong will be punished by us" Quran 18:87?

"Now Alexander thought within himself, 'If it be true as they say, that everyone who comes near the foetid sea dies, it is better that these who are guilty of death should die'"Budge, Syriac Alexander Legend, p. 148

Because Alexander used those guilty of death, condemned criminals, to test the fetid sea and confirm it was lethal.

Van Bladel (2008), p. 181 commentary: 'When Alexander came to the people in the west, he tested the efficacy of the deadly, fetid waters with the lives of convicts. This passage helps to explain the option given, for no apparent reason, by God to Dhu l-Qarnayn in the Qur'an: either to punish the people or to do them a kindness. Dhu l-Qarnayn says he will punish only wrongdoers (man zalama), who are like the prisoners sentenced to death in the Syriac text, described there as evil-doers (abday-bishe).'
Van Bladel, p. 181 - commentary on Quran 18:86-87
Both Syriac Alexander Legend and hadiths: sun dips then bows before God

Same motif across the Syriac Alexander Legend and the hadiths: the sun enters the sea/spring, then bows/prostrates before God. Budge, Syriac Alexander Legend, p. 148 Sunan Abu Dawud 4002 Sahih Bukhari 3199

Scanned page 148 of E.A. Wallis Budge's edition of the Syriac Alexander Legend, with the relevant passages framed in red: Alexander travels between the fetid sea and the bright sea to where the sun enters the window of heaven, and the sun bows down before God his Creator.
Budge, Syriac Alexander Legend, p. 148
Read the full Syriac Alexander Legend
Secular scholarship: Syriac Alexander Legend couldn't have come from Quran

Secular scholarship:

"Thus, quite strikingly, almost every element of this short Qur'anic tale finds a more explicit and detailed counterpart in the Syriac Alexander Legend." Van Bladel, p. 181
Scanned excerpt from Van Bladel (2008), p. 181: 'almost every element of this short Qur'anic tale finds a more explicit and detailed counterpart in the Syriac Alexander Legend.'
Van Bladel, p. 181
"Could the Syriac text have its source in the Qur'an? If this were the case, then the Syriac text would have to be seen as a highly expanded version of the Qur'anic account... However, the Syriac text contains no references to the Arabic language the type of which one might expect to find if its purpose was to explain an Arabic text, and it is impossible to see why a Syriac apocalypse written around 630 would be drawing on an Arabic tradition some years before the Arab conquests, when the community at Mecca was far from well known outside Arabia. Moreover, the very specific political message of the Alexander Legend would not make any sense in this scenario. This possibility must therefore be discounted." Van Bladel, p. 189
Scanned excerpt from Van Bladel (2008), p. 189: 'Could the Syriac text have its source in the Qur'an? ... This possibility must therefore be discounted.'
Van Bladel, p. 189
Video

Video sources: English video Arabic video

One-Liners
  • The Horizon Cop-Out: Every place on earth is west of sunset. If you can find "sunset in the west" anywhere, how can you conclude it is a specific destination you can arrive at?
  • The Sequencing Problem: You can't reach the setting place of the sun and then find it setting in a muddy spring.
  • The Perspective Trap: Springs do not have horizons like oceans. You look down at a spring. That is not where the sun appears to enter the sky.
  • The Vocabulary Check: When have you ever described the ocean as a black muddy spring?
  • The Reality Check: No scientist has ever reached the setting place of the sun or claimed the sun sets in a spring.

4. Perfect Preservation of the Quran Doesn't Hold Up

Uthman's burning of variant Qurans

Credible hadiths show there were originally multiple variants of the Quran but caliph Uthman burned the other ones:

Sanaa manuscript

The Sanaa manuscript is a parchment with two different versions of the Quran found in Yemen in 1972 and radiocarbon dated to 578-669 CE. The first version was scraped off and a second (the modern Quran) was written over it. Under ultraviolet light, both are visible.

Compare verse Quran 9:18 in the Sanaa vs. Quran:

lines 4-6 pg. 56 Folio 6A.
Sadeghi et al. "Ṣan'ā' 1 and the Origins of the Qur'ān." (Harvard/Stanford)

Verse Quran 9:18 in the Quran has two independent substitutions in the same direction from Sanaa 1:

  1. jihad (Sanaa 9:18) → establish prayer and give zakah (Quran 9:18)
  2. successful (Sanaa 9:18) → rightly guided (Quran 9:18)

The Sanaa 1 variants also match the surrounding verses and Surah 9 which are about jihad and fighting disbelievers.

The modern Quran is a product of Uthmanic state-enforced standardization. Viable and meaningful pre-Uthmanic variants survive in Sanaa. This eliminates knowledge of perfect preservation: it's just the variant that survived the fire.

Student Copy?

Quotes from the original Harvard/Stanford study and another Oxford study on it being a complete variant mushaf rather than student notes:

Original Harvard/Stanford Study: “Parallel Textual Tradition”
"As the only known extant copy from a textual tradition beside the standard 'Uthmanic one, it has the greatest potential of any known manuscript to shed light on the early history of the scripture. Comparing it with parallel textual traditions provides a unique window onto the initial state of the text from which the different traditions emerged." Sadeghi et al. "Ṣan'ā' 1 and the Origins of the Qur'ān." (Harvard/Stanford)
Scanned abstract of Sadeghi and Goudarzi, 'San'a' 1 and the Origins of the Qur'an' (Stanford / Harvard), with the key passage highlighted: 'As the only known extant copy from a textual tradition beside the standard Uthmanic one, it has the greatest potential of any known manuscript to shed light on the early history of the scripture. Comparing it with parallel textual traditions provides a unique window onto the initial state of the text from which the different traditions emerged.'
Sadeghi & Goudarzi (Stanford / Harvard), abstract
Oxford Study: Not Scribal Exercise but Complete Scriptural Codex
"It seems, then, that the lower layer of the palimpsest, whether or not it included the full text of the Quran as presently known, contained a run of entire suras arranged in a way that was commonly applied in quranic codices. Such a sequential succession of verses and suras is not what one would expect of a disparate selection of quranic material copied out as a scribal exercise, but is entirely consonant with the process of producing a complete scriptural codex (muṣḥaf). ... It seems preponderantly likely, hence, that the scribe or scribes who produced both layers of the palimpsest were engaged in the project of copying out an entire Quran." Nicolai Sinai, "Beyond the Cairo Edition," JAOS 140.1, p. 204
Scanned passage from Nicolas Sinai (Oxford), 'Beyond the Cairo Edition,' JAOS 140.1 (2020), p. 204, fully highlighted: the lower layer of the Sanaa palimpsest 'contained a run of entire suras arranged in a way that was commonly applied in quranic codices', is 'entirely consonant with the process of producing a complete scriptural codex (mushaf)', and 'it seems preponderantly likely... the scribe or scribes who produced both layers of the palimpsest were engaged in the project of copying out an entire Quran.'
Nicolas Sinai (Oxford), p. 204

The palimpsest logic: If you write something in pencil, erase it, and write over it in pen, the erased text underneath is older than the text written over it.

Marwan burning Hafsa's manuscript

Marwan burned the original, Hafsa's manuscript, because he was afraid of us checking it, eliminating verification of preservation:

"Marwan used to send to Hafsa asking her about the scrolls from which the Qur'an was written, but Hafsa refused to give them to him. Salim said: When Hafsa died and we returned from burying her, Marwan sent a firm message to Abdullah bin Umar, ordering him to send those scrolls to him. Abdullah bin Umar sent them to him, and Marwan ordered them to be torn up. Marwan said: I only did this because what was in them had already been written down and preserved in the Quran, and I feared that if time passed, someone might doubt the authenticity of these scrolls, or say that some of them were not written down. Its chain of narration is authentic." Ibn Kathir, The Virtues of the Qur'an, p. 85

The Hafsa codex audit: If Hafsa's manuscript perfectly matched Uthman's standardized version, why destroy the source material? You do not burn the audit trail unless the audit trail can become a problem.

Ibn Mas'ud's disagreement with Uthman's burning

Great reciter and companion Abdullah bin Mas'ud disagreed and told people to conceal their Qurans from the burning:

"Once Abdullah bin Mas'ud delivered a sermon before us and said, 'By Allah, I learnt over seventy Suras direct from Allah's Messenger (ﷺ). By Allah, the companions of the Prophet (ﷺ) came to know that I am one of those who know Allah's Book best of all of them, yet I am not the best of them.' Shaqiq added: I sat in his religious gathering and I did not hear anybody opposing him (in his speech)." Sahih Bukhari 5000
"Abdullah bin Mas'ud said: 'O people of Al-'Iraq! Keep the Musahif that are with you, and conceal them. For indeed Allah said: And whoever conceals something, he shall come with what he concealed on the Day of Judgement Quran 3:161. So meet Allah with the Musahif.'" Az-Zuhri said: "It was conveyed to me that some men amongst the most virtuous of the Companions of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) disliked that view of Ibn Mas'ud." Jami` at-Tirmidhi 3104
Sheep Ate Verses

In a hasan (good) hadith, Aisha narrates a sheep ate a page of revealed verses.

"The Verse of stoning and of breastfeeding an adult ten times was revealed, and the paper was with me under my pillow. When the Messenger of Allah died, we were preoccupied with his death, and a tame sheep came in and ate it." Sunan Ibn Majah 1944
Independent authentic hadiths confirm this problem
"A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported that it had been revealed in the Holy Qur'an that ten clear sucklings make the marriage unlawful, then it was abrogated (and substituted) by five sucklings and Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) died and it was before that time (found) in the Holy Qur'an (and recited by the Muslims)." Sahih Muslim 1452a
Umar said, "I am afraid that after a long time has passed, people may say, 'We do not find the Verses of the Rajam (stoning to death) in the Holy Book,' and consequently they may go astray by leaving an obligation that Allah has revealed. Lo! I confirm that the penalty of Rajam be inflicted on him who commits illegal sexual intercourse, if he is already married and the crime is proved by witnesses or pregnancy or confession." Sufyan added, "I have memorized this narration in this way." Umar added, "Surely Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) carried out the penalty of Rajam, and so did we after him." Sahih Bukhari 6829
Yasir Qadhi: "The standard narrative has holes in it"

Yasir Qadhi, Yale-trained Muslim scholar and major mainstream Salafi voice, openly conceded that the standard narrative of perfect preservation has holes in it, calling it a "crisis at Yale":

"To be very explicit, the standard narrative has holes in it. To pretend that there are no holes would be intellectually dishonest. ... I had a crisis at Yale because of these issues." Yasir Qadhi video interview
One-Liners
  • The Palimpsest Logic: If you write something in pencil, erase it, and write over it in pen, the erased text underneath is older than the text written over it.
  • The Hafsa Codex Audit: If Hafsa's manuscript was a perfect match to Uthman's standardized version, why destroy it? You do not burn the source material unless the source material can become a problem.

5. Three Errors in Islamic Embryology

Quran's and the hadith's description of embryonic and fetal development has at least three errors:

Error 1

Quran 23:14 gives the order of embryonic development but says flesh comes after bones.

"Then We made the sperm-drop into a clinging clot, and We made the clot into a lump [of flesh], and We made [from] the lump, bones, and We covered the bones with flesh; then We developed him into another creation. So blessed is Allāh, the best of creators." Quran 23:14

But there is never a point where an embryo is just a skeleton without flesh.

Error 2

Sahih (authentic) hadiths say women have a "thin and yellow" discharge and that the child resembles whoever discharges first.

"Man's discharge (i.e. sperm) is thick and white and the discharge of woman is thin and yellow" Sahih Muslim 311
"If a man has sexual intercourse with his wife and gets discharge first, the child will resemble the father, and if the woman gets discharge first, the child will resemble her." Sahih Bukhari 3329

But women have no "thin and yellow" discharge that contributes to the child's resemblance. And the child's resemblance is based on genetics not who discharges first.

Do women get wet dreams? Yes, their discharge is why sons resemble their mothers.
Um-Sulaim came to Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) and said, "Verily, Allah is not shy of (telling you) the truth. Is it necessary for a woman to take a bath after she has a wet dream (nocturnal sexual discharge?) The Prophet replied, "Yes, if she notices a discharge." Um Salama, then covered her face and asked, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! Does a woman get a discharge?" He replied, "Yes, let your right hand be in dust (An Arabic expression you say to a person when you contradict his statement meaning "you will not achieve goodness"), and that is why the son resembles his mother." Sahih Bukhari 130
Ibn Hajar’s Commentary: Six Categories of Child Resemblance

Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani, the authoritative classical commentator on Sahih Bukhari, systematized the "who discharges first" doctrine into six categories in his commentary on Sahih Bukhari 3329:

This divides into six categories:

  1. The man's fluid precedes and is more in quantity - the child is male and resembles the man.
  2. The opposite - the woman's fluid precedes and is more - the child is female and resembles her.
  3. The man's fluid precedes, but the woman's fluid is more - the child is male but resembles the woman.
  4. The opposite - the woman's fluid precedes, but the man's fluid is more - the child is female but resembles the man.
  5. The man's fluid precedes and they are equal - the child is male but without specific resemblance.
  6. The opposite.
Ibn Hajar, Fath al-Bari 7/273

Error 3

Sahih (authentic) hadith says fetuses are a clot of blood from 40-80 days and a piece of flesh from 80-120 days.

  • "a human being is put together in the womb of the mother in forty days [0-40 days],
  • and then he becomes a clot of thick blood for a similar period [40-80 days],
  • and then a piece of flesh for a similar period [80-120 days]"
Sahih Bukhari 3208

But between days 40-80 fetuses aren't a blood clot - they develop fingers and toes. Between 80-120 days, aren't a lump of flesh - they develop bones.

Sperm Drop Stays in the Womb for 40 Nights

The 40-40-40 timeline is reinforced by independent hadith and tafsir traditions specifying that the nutfah (sperm/drop) itself remains as a nutfah for 40 nights, before transitioning to the next stage.

  • "Allah's Messenger as saying: The semen stays in the womb for forty nights." Sahih Muslim 2645c
  • "When the nutfah (drop of semen) settles in the womb, it remains a nutfah for forty nights." Al-Mu'jam al-Saghir 16
  • "This is because when the nutfah (drop of semen) settles in the womb of the woman, it remains for forty days in that state." Ibn Kathir commentary
Photograph of the English translation of Sahih Muslim, Volume 7, hadith 6726/2645, with two passages highlighted: 'enters upon the Nutfah (sperm drop) after it has settled in the womb for forty or forty-five nights' and 'When forty-two nights have passed for the Nutfah (sperm drop), Allah sends an angel to it.'
One-Liners
  • The Miami/LA Analogy: If I say, "I will stay in Miami for 40 days, and in Los Angeles for a similar period," my stay in Los Angeles cannot happen during the first 40 days because I am in Miami. The stages are sequential.
  • The "Call Me Sperm" Reductio: The origin of something does not dictate its current name. Your origin was semen, but I cannot call you a sperm drop today. Likewise, you cannot save the timeline by calling later embryonic stages nutfah.

6. Mary: Member of Trinity, Moses' Sister, and Jesus' Mother?

Mary, Sister of Moses

Miriam, Moses' sister, had a father named Amram and brother named Aaron. Miriam and Jesus' mother Mary share the same name in Semitic languages: Miryam. But Mary lived 1400 years later.

Yet, the Quran says Mary was born to "the wife of Imran" Quran 3:35-36, is "daughter of Imran" Quran 66:12, and "sister of Aaron" Quran 19:28.

Christians found the "sister of Aaron" problem during Muhammad's lifetime and he responded:

"They used to give names after the names of apostles and pious persons who had gone before them" Sahih Muslim 2135

But he never explains why her father is Imran or why the Quran has a birth narrative of Imran's wife giving birth to Mary. Quran 3:35-37

Two Errors in Three Verses (Quran 3:35-37)

Quran 3:35-37 contains at least two errors.

Family Mixup

Mary, Jesus' mother, according to the Quran:

This is all true for Moses' sister Miriam in the Bible, who lived 1400 years earlier. And it is recorded NOWHERE other than the Quran, even though Mary lived 600 years before Muhammad.

Historically Contradictory Legend

In Mary's Quran 3:35-37 birth narrative, Imran's wife pledges Mary to the Temple and Mary grows up there. This is historically contradictory and found only in the 2nd-century non-canonical Protoevangelium of James.

"The story of Mary's childhood as given in the Protevangelium has no parallel in the New Testament, and reference to a nine-year stay in the Temple of Jerusalem contradicts Jewish customs." Encyclopaedia Britannica, Protevangelium of James

And even the Protoevangelium does not botch Mary's family: her father is Joachim and her mother is Anna.

So in just three verses Quran 3:35-37, the Quran makes two errors:

  1. reports a historically contradictory late legend about Mary,
  2. mixes up Mary's family with that of Moses' sister Miriam, who shares the same name.
Oxford Scholar: “It did not occur to him to distinguish between them”
"Having heard a Mary mentioned in the story of Moses and another in the story of Jesus, it did not occur to him to distinguish between them." DAVID SAMUEL MARGOLIOUTH, MOHAMMED AND THE RISE OF ISLAM, P. 61
Scanned excerpt from David Samuel Margoliouth, Mohammed and the Rise of Islam, p. 61, highlighting the statement that hearing a Mary in the story of Moses and another in the story of Jesus, it did not occur to Muhammad to distinguish between them.
Scanned excerpt. DAVID SAMUEL MARGOLIOUTH, MOHAMMED AND THE RISE OF ISLAM, P. 61

Mary, Member of the Trinity

The Trinity is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. But the Quran refutes the Trinity by saying:

"Those who say, 'Allah is one in a Trinity,' have certainly fallen into disbelief ... The Messiah, son of Mary, was no more than a messenger... His mother was a woman of truth. They both ate food" Quran 5:73-75 then has Allah ask Jesus: "Did you tell people to take you and your mother as two gods besides Allah?" Quran 5:116.
Classical Authorities Confirm Quranic Trinity = Allah, Mary, Jesus

The standard apologetic move is to claim Quran 5:73-75 + Quran 5:116 isn't really refuting the actual Christian Trinity (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) but some other heretical sect. Three top-tier classical authorities - including Muhammad's own cousin and the Quran's most authoritative early interpreter - read it the way critics do: Allah, Mary, Jesus.

Ibn 'Abbas (companion of the Prophet)

"This refers to the Trinity: Allah, may He be exalted, and His wife and His son." Tafsir al-Qurtubi

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah

"With regard to what the Quran says about what the Christians said, 'Allah is the third of the three (in a Trinity)', the commentators said that it refers to Allah, the Messiah and his mother, as Allah." Ibn Taymiyyah, Majmu' al-Fatawa, cited at IslamQA

Ibn Kathir

"Mujahid and several others said that this Ayah was revealed about Christians in particular. As-Suddi and others said that this Ayah was revealed about taking 'Isa and his mother as gods besides Allah, thus making Allah the third in a trinity." Tafsir Ibn Kathir on Quran 5:73
Tafsir Ibn Kathir excerpt on Quran 5:73, with the key sentence highlighted: 'As-Suddi and others said that this Ayah was revealed about taking Isa and his mother as gods besides Allah, thus making Allah the third in a trinity.'
Tafsir Ibn Kathir on Quran 5:73
One-Liners
  • The Statistical Impossibility: It's logically possible that Mary, the mother of Jesus, just happened to share the same name, a father named Imran, and a brother named Aaron with Miriam, sister of Moses (who lived over a thousand years earlier), while also sharing an ahistorical pledged-to-the-temple birth narrative with the Protoevangelium of James (but with mother swapped from Anna to the wife of Imran). It's also logically possible that no one recorded this for the 600 years from Mary's life until the Quran. Just like it is logically possible to flip a coin and get heads one thousand times in a row.

7. Who Really Has the Corrupted Gospels?

Islam accuses the canonical gospels of corruption. But secular historians trace the Quran's Jesus stories to later legends like those in the 2nd century Infancy Gospel of Thomas, which they consider far less credible than the canonical gospels.

So ironically, Islam calls the more reliable gospels corrupt while drawing from the actual corruptions.

Quran

Infancy Gospel of Thomas

A pre-Quranic fragment (dated by scholars to the 4th/5th century) we have of the infancy gospel preserves this story. 4th-5th century papyrus of the Infancy Gospel of Thomas

One-Liners
  • The Burden of Proof: Corrupted from what? Injeel? Where is the Injeel in like the real world?
  • The Secular Standard: I am asking where the Injeel is outside the Quran in reality.
  • The Baseline Trap: Your mode of criticism validated the New Testament unless you find me an earlier Injeel that contradicts it.

8. Muhammad's Failed Prophecies

Muhammad made multiple time-bound predictions about al-Sā'ah (the Hour / apocalypse) that have provably failed.

(anything in parenthesis or like "X said this meant" was added later and "to you" isn't in the original Arabic)

1. As near as the index and middle finger

"I saw Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) pointing with his index and middle fingers, saying, 'The time of my Advent and the Hour are like these two fingers.'" Sahih Bukhari 4936

2. Three different boys "won't grow old" before the Hour

Muhammad said this about three separate young boys in his lifetime.

"If this young boy lives, he may not grow very old till (he would see) the Last Hour (al-Sā'ah) coming." Sahih Muslim 2953a
"If this boy lives he would not grow very old till the Last Hour (al-Sā'ah) would come." Sahih Muslim 2953b
"Thereupon Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) said: If he lives long he would not grow very old till the Last Hour (al-Sā'ah) would come." Sahih Muslim 2953c
"If this (slave) should live long, he will not reach the geriatric old age, but the Hour (al-Sā'ah) will be established." Sahih Bukhari 6167

3. Within 100 years

One month before his death:

"Allah's Messenger as saying this one month before his death: You asked me about the Last Hour (al-Sā'ah) whereas its knowledge is with Allah. I, however, take an oath and say that none upon the earth, the created beings, would survive at the end of one hundred years." Sahih Muslim 2538a
"Do you realize (the importance of) this night? Nobody present on the surface of the earth tonight will be living after the completion of one hundred years from this night." Sahih Bukhari 116

4. People understood it literally until it didn't happen

"The people made a mistake in grasping the meaning of this statement of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) and they indulged in those things which are said about these narrators (i.e. some said that the Day of Resurrection will be established after 100 years etc.)" Sahih Bukhari 601

5. Dajjal (Antichrist) comes after the conquest of Constantinople

Constantinople fell to the Ottomans in 1453. The Dajjal did not come.

"the outbreak of the great war will be at the conquest of Constantinople and the conquest of Constantinople when the Dajjal (Antichrist) comes forth. He (the Prophet) struck his thigh or his shoulder with his hand and said: This is as true as you are here or as you are sitting (meaning Mu'adh ibn Jabal)." Sunan Abu Dawud 4294

The lexical kill-shot

9. The Symptoms of Prophecy

Symptoms of Temporal Lobe Epilepsy (TLE) include muscle twitching/rigidity, facial flushing, lip smacking, confusion/fear, profuse sweating, depression/suicidal ideation and visual/auditory hallucinations.

Geschwind syndrome is a manifestation of TLE characterized by extreme verbal output, hyperreligiosity, altered sexuality and intensified mental life.

Credible hadiths describing Muhammad's revelations:

Sahih Bukhari 6982 (First revelation)

Sahih Bukhari 6982

Sahih Bukhari 2

Sahih Bukhari 2

Sahih Bukhari 5

Sahih Bukhari 5

Sahih Bukhari 4985

Sahih Bukhari 4985

Sahih Bukhari 4592

Sahih Bukhari 4592

Less likely than a 7th century man in a cave getting revelation from the creator of the universe?

10. Bonus: Shared ERVs Establish Human-Chimp Common Ancestry

Humans have a genome that is 3.2 billion base pairs. Retroviruses are viruses that insert DNA into your genome at unpredictable locations. When this happens in egg and sperm cells, every descendant inherits that DNA at the exact same spot. Most are nonfunctional.

Humans, chimps and monkeys share thousands of identical insertions at the exact same positions. EACH of these happening without common ancestry is astronomically unlikely.

Nested pattern

  • oldest are shared by all three
  • newer ones are shared by only humans and chimps
  • the newest aren't shared

Evolution Explained By Salman Khan, Khan Academy

Part II - Hadiths

1. Quran Verses Supporting These Hadiths

"Presentism"

According to Islam, the Quran is the eternal book and Muhammad is the perfect example for all humanity for eternity.
You bring them into the present, but we can't judge them by the present?

Three-month remarriage waiting period for divorced girls who had sex before their first period

Quran 33:49: "O believers! If you marry believing women and then divorce them before you touch them, they will have no waiting period for you to count."
Quran 65:4: "As for your women past the age of menstruation, in case you do not know, their waiting period is three months, and those who have not menstruated as well."
Scholarly Explanation (Quran.com)
"The same for the young, who have not reached the years of menstruation. Their `Iddah is three months like those in menopause." Tafsir Ibn Kathir on Quran 65:4

Iddah = waiting period before remarriage after consummation

Quran allows sex with captive women who are married but in your possession

Quran 4:24: "Also ˹forbidden are˺ married women - except ˹female˺ captives in your possession."
Quran 23:5-6: "those who guard their chastity except with their wives or those ˹bondwomen˺ in their possession, for then they are free from blame"
Quran 70:29-30: "those who guard their chastity except with their wives or those ˹bondwomen˺ in their possession, for then they are free from blame"
Scholarly Explanation (Quran.com)
"The Ayah means, you are prohibited from marrying women who are already married, except those whom you acquire through war, for you are allowed such women after making sure they are not pregnant." Tafsir Ibn Kathir on Quran 4:24
Beat your wives
"So, the righteous women are obedient, (and) guard (the property and honor of their husbands) in (their) absence with the protection given by Allah. As for women of whom you fear rebellion, convince them, and leave them apart in beds, and beat them." Quran 4:34
Scholarly Explanation (Quran.com)
"(beat them) means, if advice and ignoring her in the bed do not produce the desired results, you are allowed to discipline the wife, without severe beating. ... (If the man asks his wife to come to his bed and she declines, the angels will keep cursing her until the morning.)" Tafsir Ibn Kathir on Quran 4:34
Disbelievers are not your friends and are the worst of creatures
"O ye who believe! Take not the Jews and the Christians for friends. They are friends one to another. He among you who taketh them for friends is (one) of them." Quran 5:51
"Indeed, they who disbelieved among the People of the Scripture and the polytheists will be in the fire of Hell, abiding eternally therein. Those are the worst of creatures." Quran 98:6
Scholarly Explanation (Quran.com)
"Allah forbids His believing servants from having Jews and Christians as friends, because they are the enemies of Islam and its people, may Allah curse them. Allah then states that they are friends of each other and He gives a warning threat to those who do this, (O you who believe! Take not the Jews and the Christians as friends...) Then he reported that `Abdullah bin `Utbah said, 'Let one of you beware that he might be a Jew or a Christian, while unaware.'" Tafsir Ibn Kathir on Quran 5:51
"(They are the worst of creatures.) meaning, they are the worst creation that Allah has fashioned and created. Then Allah informs about the situation of the righteous people who believed in their hearts and performed righteous deeds with their bodies. He says that they are the best of creation." Tafsir Ibn Kathir on Quran 98:6
Fight until they pay the jizya while humbled
"And when the inviolable months have passed, then kill the polytheists wherever you find them and capture them and besiege them and sit in wait for them at every place of ambush. But if they should repent, establish prayer, and give zakāh, let them [go] on their way. Indeed, Allāh is Forgiving and Merciful." Quran 9:5
"Fight against those who do not believe in Allāh or in the Last Day and who do not consider unlawful what Allāh and His Messenger have made unlawful and who do not adopt the religion of truth [i.e., Islām] from those who were given the Scripture - [fight] until they give the jizyah willingly while they are humbled." Quran 9:29
Scholarly Explanation (Quran.com)
"Allah said, (until they pay the Jizyah), if they do not choose to embrace Islam, (with willing submission), in defeat and subservience, (and feel themselves subdued.), disgraced, humiliated and belittled. Therefore, Muslims are not allowed to honor the people of Dhimmah or elevate them above Muslims, for they are miserable, disgraced and humiliated. Muslim recorded from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet said, (Do not initiate the Salam to the Jews and Christians, and if you meet any of them in a road, force them to its narrowest alley.)" Tafsir Ibn Kathir on Quran 9:29

2. Muhammad kills Safiya's family then has sex with her on the way home

Safiya was a Jewish woman whose father and husband were killed by Muhammad's men. Muhammad liked how she looked so he took her and had sex with her on the way home. She became one of his "wives".

HERE IS HER STORY FROM THREE CREDIBLE HADITHS:

"The Prophet (ﷺ) had their warriors killed, their offspring and woman taken as captives. Safiya was amongst the captives, She first came in the share of Dahya Alkali but later on she belonged to the Prophet." Sahih Bukhari 4200
"We arrived at Khaibar, and when Allah helped His Apostle to open the fort, the beauty of Safiya bint Huyai bin Akhtaq whose husband had been killed while she was a bride, was mentioned to Allah's Apostle. The Prophet (ﷺ) selected her for himself and set out with her," Sahih Bukhari 4211
"The Prophet (ﷺ) stayed with Safiya bint Huyai for three days on the way of Khaibar where he consummated his marriage with her." Sahih Bukhari 4212
Muhammad tortures Kinana (Safiya's husband) with fire on his chest for treasure and beheads him
"Kinana al-Rabi [Safiya's husband] who had the custody of the treasure of Banu Nadir, was brought to the apostle ... the apostle gave orders 'Torture him until you extract what he has.' So he kindled a fire on his chest until he was nearly dead. Then the apostle delivered him to Muhammad b. Maslama and he struck off his head." Ibn Ishaq, Sirat Rasul Allah, p. 515
Abu Ayyub circles Muhammad's tent with a sword while he has sex with Safiya
"The apostle passed the night with her in a tent of his. Abu Ayyub… passed the night girt with his sword, guarding the apostle and going round the tent… 'I was afraid for you with this woman for you have killed her father, her husband, and her people'" Ibn Ishaq, Sirat Rasul Allah, p. 517
Pubic Hair test for execution (Banu Qurayza)
"Sa'd said, 'I give the judgment that their warriors should be killed and their children and women should be taken as prisoners.' The Prophet then remarked, 'O Sa'd! You have judged amongst them with the judgment of the King Allah.'" Sahih Bukhari 3043
"I was among the captives of Banu Qurayzah. They (the Companions) examined us, and those who had begun to grow hair (pubes) were killed, and those who had not were not killed. I was among those who had not grown hair." Sunan Abu Dawud 4404
Muhammad's death from the Khaybar poisoning

A Jewish woman from Khaybar (the same place he captured Safiya from) whose family Muhammad also killed poisoned him. He was in pain for three years then died.

"A Jewess brought a poisoned (cooked) sheep for the Prophet (ﷺ) who ate from it." Sahih Bukhari 2617
"When Khaibar was conquered, a roasted poisoned sheep was presented to the Prophet (ﷺ) as a gift (by the Jews). He asked, 'Have you poisoned this sheep?' They said, 'Yes.' He asked, 'What made you do so?' They said, 'We wanted to know if you were a liar in which case we would get rid of you, and if you are a prophet then the poison would not harm you.'" Sahih Bukhari 3169
"The Prophet (ﷺ) in his ailment in which he died, used to say, 'O `Aisha! I still feel the pain caused by the food I ate at Khaibar, and at this time, I feel as if my aorta is being cut from that poison.'" Sahih Bukhari 4428
Allah's Punishment for False Prophet: Severed Aorta
"Had the Messenger made up something in Our Name, We would have certainly seized him by his right hand, then severed his aorta." Quran 69:44-46

3. Aisha (9) taken off a swing and handed to Muhammad (53) for sex

In sahih (authentic) hadiths, Aisha remembers marrying Muhammad at six, being taken off a swing at nine for sex with him and bringing her dolls (cited as proof she was prepubescent).

FROM CREDIBLE HADITHS:

"Narrated Aisha: that the Prophet married her when she was six years old and he consummated his marriage when she was nine years old."
(consummate = sex to complete marriage) Sahih Bukhari 5133
"Narrated Aisha: My mother, Um Ruman, came to me while I was playing in a swing with some of my girl friends. She called me, and I went to her, not knowing what she wanted to do to me. Unexpectedly Allah's Apostle came to me in the forenoon and my mother handed me over to him, and at that time I was a girl of nine years of age." Sahih Bukhari 3894
"'A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported that Allah's Apostle married her when she was seven years old, and he was taken to his house as a bride when she was nine, and her dolls were with her; and when he (the Holy Prophet) died she was eighteen years old." Sahih Muslim 1422c
"Narrated Aisha: I used to play with the dolls in the presence of the Prophet, and my girl friends also used to play with me. (it was allowed for Aisha at that time, as she was a little girl, not yet reached the age of puberty.) (Fath-ul-Bari page 143, Vol.13)" Sahih Bukhari 6130
Marry Your Adopted Son's Ex-Wife and Other Convenient Revelations

Zayd was Muhammad's adopted son. Zaynab was Zayd's wife.

"Nor does He regard your adopted children as your real children. Let your adopted children keep their family names."
(Zayd ibn Muhammad changed back to Zayd ibn Haritha) Quran 33:4-5
"And (remember, O Prophet,) when you said to the one for whom Allah has done a favour and you (too) have done a favour, 'Keep your wife and fear Allah,' while concealing within yourself what Allah was going to reveal. And (so) you were considering the people, whereas Allah was more worthy of your consideration. So when Zaid totally lost interest in (keeping) his wife, We gave her to you in marriage, so that there would be no blame on the believers for marrying the ex-wives of their adopted sons after their divorce. And Allah's command is totally binding." Quran 33:37
"Also (allowed for marriage is) a believing woman who offers herself to the Prophet (without dowry) if he is interested in marrying her—(this is) exclusively for you, not for the rest of the believers." Quran 33:50
"Narrated Aisha: I used to look down upon those ladies who had given themselves to Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) and I used to say, 'Can a lady give herself (to a man)?' But when Allah revealed: 'You (O Muhammad) can postpone (the turn of) whom you will of them (your wives), and you may receive any of them whom you will; and there is no blame on you if you invite one whose turn you have set aside (temporarily).' (33.51) I said (to the Prophet), 'I feel that your Lord hastens in fulfilling your wishes and desires.'" Sahih Bukhari 4788

4. Muhammad on whether to pull out when having sex with captive women

Muhammad's men wanted to have sex with women taken in war as captives. They asked Muhammad whether it was ok to pull out. Muhammad said it's better not to, because if God willed a baby, it would happen anyway.

FROM A CREDIBLE HADITH:

"O Abu Sa'id, did you hear Allah's Messenger mentioning al-'azl? He said: Yes, and added: We went out with Allah's Messenger on the expedition to the Bi'l-Mustaliq and took captive some excellent Arab women; and we desired them, for we were suffering from the absence of our wives, (but at the same time) we also desired ransom for them. So we decided to have sexual intercourse with them but by observing 'azl (Withdrawing the male sexual organ before emission of semen to avoid-conception). But we said: We are doing an act whereas Allah's Messenger is amongst us; why not ask him? So we asked Allah's Messenger, and he said: It does not matter if you do not do it, for every soul that is to be born up to the Day of Resurrection will be born." Sahih Muslim 1438a
Parallel Narration in Sahih Bukhari
"We went out with Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) for the Ghazwa of Banu Al-Mustaliq and we received captives from among the Arab captives and we desired women and celibacy became hard on us and we loved to do coitus interruptus. So when we intended to do coitus interruptus, we said, 'How can we do coitus interruptus before asking Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) who is present among us?' We asked him about it and he said, 'It is better for you not to do so, for if any soul till the Day of Resurrection is predestined to exist, it will exist.'" Sahih Bukhari 4138

Coitus interruptus = pulling out.

5. What Visited Muhammad Left Him Terrified and Suicidal (First Revelation)

In a sahih (authentic) hadith, an "angel" seized Muhammad in a cave and crushed him three times until he "could not bear it anymore." He went home "twitching with terror," telling his wife Khadijah to cover him and asking her, "O Khadija, what is wrong with me?"

FROM A CREDIBLE HADITH:

"(The Prophet (ﷺ) added), 'The angel caught me (forcefully) and pressed me so hard that I could not bear it anymore. He then released me and again asked me to read, and I replied, "I do not know how to read," whereupon he caught me again and pressed me a second time till I could not bear it anymore. He then released me and asked me again to read, but again I replied, "I do not know how to read (or, what shall I read?)." Thereupon he caught me for the third time and pressed me and then released me and said, "Read: In the Name of your Lord, Who has created (all that exists). Has created man from a clot. Read and Your Lord is Most Generous…up to….. ..that which he knew not." (96.15) Then Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) returned with the Inspiration, his neck muscles twitching with terror till he entered upon Khadija and said, "Cover me! Cover me!" They covered him till his fear was over and then he said, "O Khadija, what is wrong with me?"

"the Prophet (ﷺ) became so sad as we have heard that he intended several times to throw himself from the tops of high mountains and every time he went up the top of a mountain in order to throw himself down, Gabriel would appear before him and say, 'O Muhammad! You are indeed Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) in truth' whereupon his heart would become quiet and he would calm down and would return home. And whenever the period of the coming of the inspiration used to become long, he would do as before" Sahih Bukhari 6982
Suicidality Corroborated by Sirat Rasul Allah and al-Tabari

The Bukhari 6982 suicidality detail is not a one-off. The earliest biography (Ibn Ishaq) and the earliest Islamic universal history (al-Tabari) independently corroborate it - using Muhammad's own first-person narration.

Sirat Rasul Allah, p. 106 (Ibn Ishaq, earliest biography)

"Now none of God's creatures was more hateful to me than an (ecstatic) poet or a man possessed: I could not even look at them. I thought, Woe is me poet or possessed - Never shall Quraysh say this of me! I will go to the top of the mountain and throw myself down that I may kill myself and gain rest. So I went forth to do so..." Ibn Ishaq, Sirat Rasul Allah, p. 106
Scanned excerpt from Ibn Ishaq's Sirat Rasul Allah p. 106: Muhammad narrates 'Woe is me poet or possessed - Never shall Quraysh say this of me! I will go to the top of the mountain and throw myself down that I may kill myself and gain rest.'
Ibn Ishaq, Sirat Rasul Allah, p. 106 - first-person narration of suicidal intent during the early revelations.

The History of al-Tabari, vol. 6, p. 68

"He (Muhammad) said: I had been thinking of hurling myself down from a mountain crag, but he appeared to me, as I was thinking about this, and said, 'Muhammad, I am Gabriel and you are the Messenger of God.'" al-Tabari, History of al-Tabari, vol. 6, p. 68
Scanned excerpt from The History of al-Tabari, volume 6, p. 68: 'I had been thinking of hurling myself down from a mountain crag, but he appeared to me, as I was thinking about this, and said, Muhammad, I am Gabriel and you are the Messenger of God.'
al-Tabari, vol. 6, p. 68 - Muhammad himself describes hurling himself off a mountain crag.

6. Muhammad Recommends Dunking Flies in Your Drink

Muhammad says that if a fly falls in your drink you should push it all the way in because one wing carries the disease and the other wing carries the cure. Dipping neutralizes it.

FROM A CREDIBLE HADITH:

"The Prophet (ﷺ) said 'If a house fly falls in the drink of anyone of you, he should dip it (in the drink) and take it out, for one of its wings has a disease and the other has the cure for the disease.'" Sahih Bukhari 3320
Other Silly and Inaccurate Authentic Hadiths
Muhammad Recommends Breastfeeding Grown Men
"Messenger of Allah, I see on the face of Abu Hudhaifa (signs of disgust) on entering of Salim (who is an ally) into (our house), whereupon Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) said: Suckle him. She said: How can I suckle him as he is a grown-up man? Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) smiled and said: I already know that he is a young man." Sahih Muslim 1453
Satan Farts During Prayer, Laughs At Your Yawning, Urinates in Your Ear and Sleeps in Your Nose
Satan Farts During Prayer
"Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, 'When the Adhan is pronounced Satan takes to his heels and passes wind with noise during his flight in order not to hear the Adhan. When the Adhan is completed he comes back and again takes to his heels when the Iqama is pronounced and after its completion he returns again till he whispers into the heart of the person (to divert his attention from his prayer) and makes him remember things which he does not recall to his mind before the prayer and that causes him to forget how much he has prayed'." Sahih Bukhari 608
Satan Laughs At Your Loud Yawning
"The Prophet (ﷺ) said, 'yawning is from Satan, so one must try one's best to stop it, if one says 'Ha' when yawning, Satan will laugh at him.'" Sahih Bukhari 6223
Satan Urinates in Your Ear
"A person was mentioned before the Prophet and he was told that he had kept on sleeping till morning and had not got up for the prayer. The Prophet (ﷺ) said, 'Satan urinated in his ears.'" Sahih Bukhari 1144
Satan Sleeps in Your Nose
"The Prophet (ﷺ) said, 'If anyone of you rouses from sleep and performs the ablution, he should wash his nose by putting water in it and then blowing it out thrice, because Satan has stayed in the upper part of his nose all the night.'" Sahih Bukhari 3295
Joining a She-Monkey Adultery Stoning
"During the pre-Islamic period of ignorance I saw a she-monkey surrounded by a number of monkeys. They were all stoning it, because it had committed illegal sexual intercourse. I too, stoned it along with them." Sahih Bukhari 3849
Camel Urine Medicine
"Some people of `Ukl or `Uraina tribe came to Medina and its climate did not suit them. So the Prophet (ﷺ) ordered them to go to the herd of (Milch) camels and to drink their milk and urine (as a medicine). So they went as directed and after they became healthy, they killed the shepherd of the Prophet and drove away all the camels. The news reached the Prophet (ﷺ) early in the morning and he sent (men) in their pursuit and they were captured and brought at noon. He then ordered to cut their hands and feet (and it was done), and their eyes were branded with heated pieces of iron, They were put in 'Al-Harra' and when they asked for water, no water was given to them." Sahih Bukhari 233
Adam Was 90 Feet Tall
"The Prophet (ﷺ) said, 'Allah created Adam, making him 60 cubits tall. ... Any person who will enter Paradise will resemble Adam (in appearance and figure). People have been decreasing in stature since Adam's creation.'" Sahih Bukhari 3326
Seven Dates a Day Blocks Poison and Magic
"Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, 'He who eats seven 'Ajwa dates every morning, will not be affected by poison or magic on the day he eats them.'" Sahih Bukhari 5445
Black Seed Heals All Diseases Except Death
"I heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) saying, 'There is healing in black cumin for all diseases except death.'" Sahih Bukhari 5688
The Only Tree That Won't Snitch on the Jews
"Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying: The last hour would not come unless the Muslims will fight against the Jews and the Muslims would kill them until the Jews would hide themselves behind a stone or a tree and a stone or a tree would say: Muslim, or the servant of Allah, there is a Jew behind me; come and kill him; but the tree Gharqad would not say, for it is the tree of the Jews." Sahih Muslim 2922
Women Form Majority in Hell and Are Deficient in Intelligence and Religion
Women Form Majority in Hell
"I had a chance to look into the Paradise and I found that majority of the people was poor and I looked into the Fire and there I found the majority constituted by women." Sahih Muslim 2737
Women Are Deficient in Intelligence and Religion
"Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) went out to the Musalla (to offer the prayer) of `Id-al-Adha or Al-Fitr prayer. Then he passed by the women and said, 'O women! Give alms, as I have seen that the majority of the dwellers of Hell-fire were you (women).' They asked, 'Why is it so, O Allah's Messenger?' He replied, 'You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you. A cautious sensible man could be led astray by some of you.' The women asked, 'O Allah's Messenger! What is deficient in our intelligence and religion?' He said, 'Is not the evidence of two women equal to the witness of one man?' They replied in the affirmative. He said, 'This is the deficiency in her intelligence. Isn't it true that a woman can neither pray nor fast during her menses?' The women replied in the affirmative. He said, 'This is the deficiency in her religion.'" Sahih Bukhari 304

7. Ali burns people alive for leaving Islam but Ibn Abbas clarifies Muhammad said to kill them

In a sahih (authentic) hadith, Ali (Muhammad's cousin, son-in-law, and central figure of Shia Islam) burns people alive for leaving Islam but Ibn Abbas clarifies Muhammad said to kill them.

THIS IS CONSISTENT WITH THE QURAN WHICH SAYS:

"But if they turn away, then seize them and kill them wherever you find them" Quran 4:89

FROM A CREDIBLE HADITH:

"Some Zanadiqa (atheists) were brought to Ali and he burnt them. The news of this event, reached Ibn Abbas who said, 'If I had been in his place, I would not have burnt them, as Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) forbade it, saying, "Do not punish anybody with Allah's punishment (fire)." I would have killed them according to the statement of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ), 'Whoever changed his Islamic religion, then kill him.'" Sahih Bukhari 6922

8. Muhammad approves Ali having sex with a captive girl taken in war and says he deserves more

In a sahih (authentic) hadith, Ali (Muhammad's cousin, son-in-law, and central figure of Shia Islam) took a captive girl from the war booty and had sex with her. When someone reported this, Muhammad said Ali deserves more.

FROM A CREDIBLE HADITH:

"The Prophet (ﷺ) sent Ali to Khalid to bring the Khumus (of the booty) and I hated Ali, and Ali had taken a bath (after a sexual act with a slave-girl from the Khumus). I said to Khalid, 'Don't you see this (i.e. Ali)?' When we reached the Prophet (ﷺ) I mentioned that to him. He said, 'O Buraida! Do you hate Ali?' I said, 'Yes.' He said, 'Do you hate him, for he deserves more than that from the Khumus.'" Sahih Bukhari 4350